Roommates
by Mesita
Summary: [HoroRen] Horohoro's convinced Ren will show him hospitality. Somehow they manage to fight over which one is really a woman, and other random plotless things. OneShot


**::Kitzaku::**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Shaman King…. And stuffage.

**Authoress Notes: **Once again, here comes a random HoroRen. And this time it's NOT a parody! I know, what the heck are the chances of that? In any case, I felt like writing for once, and this just sort of popped into my head. So I'm pretty much making it up and putting down whatever gets shoved into my head whilst I listen to random… stuffage.

I mean, I think it's my old muses fault.

**Yugi Muse: **You really should get rid of us, we're two years old.

**Yami**** Muse: **Nononono! That just means we're good muses! She's dumped a million others before, but kept us!

**Yugi Muse: ***sighs* Yeah, well… fine. I take credit for this story then! In it's random un-hilariousity.

**::Roommates::**

"If I've told you once, I've told you twice. Stay _away_ from my house!" Ren shouted at a quite flustered Horohoro. The light-blue haired boy was surrounded by bags and looking like he'd traveled for days. They both knew that it wasn't true. He'd just gotten lost by the trek to Ren's rented building overlooking the city.

"But… but Pilika and I got into a fight and… and she kicked me OUT!" Horohoro pouted, taking the time to shift his weight from the duffle bag on his shoulder.

"It's a sibling fight." Ren folded his arms. "She'll cool down. Just go _away_. Bother Asakura or something."

Horohoro's eyes widened in fear. "I don't want to be under the same roof as Anna!"

Ren sighed rather reluctantly. Well, no it wasn't rather, is _was_ reluctantly. He was 100% positive that once he let Horohoro in his house, he would be devoid of all food and anything valuable would be broken within the next 2 hours. There was still one last try. "Go sit on the streets."

"I'll get mugged!"

"Who would want anything of yours?"

"They'll take my snowboard!"

"No one snowboards around here."

"I do!"

"Well, you're _weird_."

"I am _not!_"

Ren paused and looked at Horohoro expectantly. The blue haired snowboarder sighed and muttered. "Ok, maybe I'm a _little_ weird."

For a second, Ren coughed, amazed that he'd admitted something like that. But the next second, he really could care less. He was about to turn around and shut the door in Horohoro's face despite the bad attempts of a puppy face he was making.

No sooner had he made the decision to shut the door, did his older sister, Jun, decided to make her presence known. "Ren?" she called from somewhere nearby in the house. "I heard shouting. Who's at the door?"

"Salesperson."

"IT'S ME, JUN!" Horohoro called inside, waving frantically.

Jun caught sight of him and smiled, waving back. "Why, hello Horohoro. I didn't know that you were a salesperson."

"I'm _not!"_

"Then, why have you come to visit?" Jun started, then suddenly gasped. "You haven't come to challenge Ren, have you?"

"He wouldn't even think about it if he could." Ren laughed. "I could beat him in less than 33 seconds in or out of my country."

Horohoro and Jun both ignored this. Horohoro put on his puppy eyes again. "Miss Jun, I've been kicked out of my home, and I've come to stay here for a while. Will you have me?"

June grinned and clapped. "Of course! I wouldn't turn down an offer for hospitality! Come in right away, you can take the spare room."

"We don't _have_ a spare room." Ren growled.

"Oh, well he can take your training room."

Coughing again, Ren sputtered out "He can't sleep in my training room! He'll break my equipment!"

From the corner of his mouth, Horohoro muttered to Ren. "You've been coughing a lot, are you ok?"

Ren glared at him and he shut up. Turning back to Jun, he shouted. "See? We've got no place for him. He has to _go_."

"Oh, don't be silly." Jun waved her little brother off. "He can just bunk with you."

Silence fell over the Tao household for a good minute or so. Then the explosion came from both males.

"**WHAT?!**"

_And so, the intro is done, and onto the random crappage.___

"Ican'tbelieveshe'smakingmedothis.It'scompletelyagainstmywill…" Ren muttered random curses and other such insults underneath his breath. He was leading an equally as pissed Horohoro up towards his room.

He hadn't _asked_ for this! He was minding his own business training for when he'd finally beat Yoh's ass in good and humiliate him in front of all his new friends. He knew he could do it. He was Tao Ren and he was **better** than everyone else whether they liked it or not. In any case, he was quite disturbed to find Horohoro at his doorstep, begging to be let in because of another fight with Pilika.

Besides, if Ren knew Pilika. And he didn't. But he thought he did because he's better than everyone else. Horohoro was probably hiding from her strict training schedule.

Slacker. Meh.

"Uh… Ren, where are we going?" Horohoro implied. They seemed to be walking in a random direction. "We passed a door that said. 'Ren's Lair. Idiots Unwelcome.' About three times. Was that your room?"

"What?" Ren went red in the face and realized that he had been spacing out. Quickly, he regained his composure. "I knew that. I was making you suffer by carrying your equipment, moron."

Horohoro made some incoherent noises.

Ren turned around and went back towards his room, Horohoro trudging behind him, and opened the door.

Horohoro almost tripped on the way inside. As soon as he'd thrown all his things onto the floor, himself included, did he finally say something.

"Wow."

"Wow, what?" Ren said, annoyed at the snowboarder as usual.

"It's very… Chinese." Horohoro finished.

Ren rolled his eyes and thumped Horohoro upside the head with a random book from a nearby shelf. "Of course it's Chinese, moron. I'm from China."

Horohoro rubbed his head. "You need to learn how to take compliments better."

"How was _that_ a compliment?"

Horohoro shrugged and started to unpack his things. Ren watched with mild disinterest for a few seconds. Silence hung in the air like flatulence. Horohoro seemed to be moving very slowly, taking all of his belongings out of his bags one by one and setting them in neat piles all around him.

"Can't you go a _little_ faster?" Ren rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to wait for me to finish packing." Horohoro explained, his eyes staying on his work. "You can always go back to… whatever you were doing."

At this point, Ren didn't remember what he was doing before Horohoro had showed up, but he wouldn't point that out. "I don't feel like doing anything anymore. You threw my biorhythm out of whack when you arrived."

"Bio-what?" Horohoro stopped his work to raise and eyebrow and look at Ren questioningly.

"Biorhythm's. They don't really have a point." Ren muttered.

Pause.

"ARGH! Just let me help you unpack, you're driving me WHACKO."  Ren lunged for Horohoro's open suitcase, but the blue haired snowboarder had already been fast enough (O_O) to move it out of the way. Ren's head caught the corner of it, and a tiny bump was making itself known on his forehead. Ren growled with a mixture of madness and pain.

"I can unpack myself." Horohoro stuck out his tongue.

"But you're slower than… than…"

"Chocolove's jokes?"

"…something like that." Ren paused a moment—before ramming Horohoro again. He had made another lunge and this time, managed to miss the suitcase completely and land on top of Horohoro. Something fluffy was lodged between the gap of their chests. Ren glanced down for a second to see what it was. Before he could, however, Horohoro snatched it and threw it across the room. It landed behind Ren's bed.

"What was that?" Ren inquired.

Horohoro made a sheepish grin. "What was what?"

"That thing you just threw." Ren started to remove himself from Horohoro to head for the bed.

"I didn't throw anything!" Horohoro protested.

"You really suck at lying." Ren almost laughed, but it came out as one of this little 'hmphs'. He spun around on the floor and stood up. No sooner had he done so, however, he was down on the ground—face down with Horohoro laying on top of him. "What the Heck?!"

"I tripped?"

"Horohoro!" Ren yelled and began to kick and wiggle out from underneath Horohoro, trying to get himself free. The snowboarder had a good grip around Ren's waist and held tight, not allowing the Chinese boy to go anywhere.

Until suddenly.

THUNK.

"Owwww! Ren!" Horohoro sat up, rubbing the top of his head, his own little knot forming on the top of his skull.

"You deserved it, ass." Ren shoved Horohoro from him and made a mad dash for his bed. He hopped on it, reached over the edge and grabbed the fluffy object.

"Don't!" Horohoro called in a last ditch effort. "It's only a—"

"A stuffed moose?" Ren held it up.

"It's MINE!" Horohoro jumped on the bed after Ren. The Chinese boy held the stuffed moose high over his head, just out of Horohoro's reach With Ren already halfway off the bed and lying on his back, Horohoro had him straddled about the waist to keep them both from falling off.

"You're such a girl." Ren laughed, waving the moose about.

"At least I don't have HIPS like a girl!" Horohoro fired back.

"What was that?"

Horohoro smirked. "You're built like a woman. You… _girl_."

"You take that back!"

"Woman hips! Woman hips!"

"I do NOT have womanly hips!"

"Oh, yes you do." Horohoro laughed; glad to have diverted the attention from his embarrassing childhood relic. To prove his point, he rolled off of Ren and ran his hands down Ren's sides. "They flare out like an hour glass. You could practically have children."

Ren unexpectantly shivered at the unwelcome, surprisingly gently touch from the other boy. No less than a millisecond later, his composure was regained and he threw the first thing he could at Horohoro's head, which happened to be the stuffed moose.

"I don't have stuffed animals like a girl." He repeated. "Even if I DO have hips that are slightly more feminine, that doesn't mean a thing. I feel strong about my sexuality."

Horohoro peeled the moose from his face, shook his head and raised an eyebrow. "I never said you were _gay_."

"Yes but you were implying it."

"No I wasn't. I was implying that you're a fruit."

"That means I'm _gay_!" Ren spat.

"Holy crap! Ren, you're gay?"

"NO!!"

Horohoro giggled.

"You giggled." Ren pointed out. "That is obviously a gay trait."

"Not true. Yoh giggles. And he's betrothed to Anna."

Ren's eye narrowed. "You're either really stupid, or you just haven't really seen Yoh around Manta, have you?"

Horohoro tilted his head.

Ren sighed, knowing right off the bat it was the former in the first place. "My point is…" Ren stopped. Horohoro was staring at him intently. "My point is…" He blinked, apparently forgetting his point because Horohoro was bringing his hand towards his face.

"Right HERE!" Horohoro brought his hand right down on top of Ren's head, where his cowlick is.

"OW! Chicken McFUCKnuggets! Horohoro, you _ass_!"

Horohoro giggled and bounced towards the head of the bed and grabbed a pillow to shield himself. Ren got up and slammed himself on top of Horohoro, sandwiching the poor pillow between them. Punches were punched. Kicks were kicked. Scratches were scratched. After a good two minutes of shielding himself with the pillow, only one option was left for Horohoro to escape.

"Tickletickletickle!" Two hands shot up from underneath the pillow and started to furiously tickle Ren's ribcage. The Chinese boy doubled up in raging fits of laughter, twitching every so often.

"Stop! AaaaaaaahahahS-s-sTOP it, bitch!" Ren attempted to pry the hands from him.

Horohoro was grinning furiously now. "Not until you admit you're gay."

"What? Never!"

"Say it!"

"I'd rather piss all over you first!"

Horohoro doubled his tickling power. "Say it!"

"Hahhaa~! Alright, alright! I'm **_gay_**!"

The tickling stopped. Ren rolled off the pillow and lay beside Horohoro on his back, trying to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, he saw a pair of eyes and very messy blue hair hanging over him. His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't move from initial shock. The face above him grinned.

"I knew it."

"I only said that to get you to stop tickling me, Snowbunny."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did!"

Horohoro shook his head.

Anger rearing up again, Ren pushed Horohoro away. "I don't need to argue you with you. You can't even stay in a house without being kicked out." He hopped off the bed and stretched his back for a second, taking a survey of his room. "Argh! And look what you did! You ruined the place, ass. Pick it up!" He turned around when Horohoro didn't respond. "I said: Pick it—"

Horohoro hadn't moved from when Ren had shoved him away. He was clutching the Ren's pillow, and pulling at a loose string on one of the ends of the pillowcase.

Ren bent over, trying to get a good look at Horohoro's face, but the snowboarder turned away. His voice lowered. "Horohoro, you're not… _crying_ are you? That has got to be the most _girlish_ thing to do."

Horohoro looked. He hadn't been crying. Instead he had a ridiculously huge smile on his face. Ren was taken aback. "You know." Horohoro said, his smile growing broader. "I had really hoped you were."

"Hoped I was… what?"

Horohoro was quiet. His smile never leaving.

Something in Ren's brain snapped. "You mean _gay_?"

Horohoro was frozen in his pose. After a few minutes, he nodded, but he face still had the same expression.

Ren slapped his forehead. "You are such a _girl_."

**Owari**

I'm going to leave it there, so you can take your imagination and make it go in a million difference places. It's not really a cliffhanger—and I didn't want it to end with like:

**Ren**: I love you!

**Horohoro**: I love you too! *smooooooooooooooch*

Because that's just too typical and scary and not something I feel like writing. I liked this being one giant fight between the two of them. An ending like that would have ruined the entire story. R&R, yo!


End file.
